no way out
by Lioneh
Summary: 59/100: 'No Way Out'. Through the horrors of the degradation - the pain, the emotional instability, his wing - Genesis has but one choice. Contains no yaoi or cursing. Sequel to Devsash's 'Questioning', but can be read separately. Genesis R. one shot.


A/N: Sequel and kiriban to devsash's story called 'Questioning' ~ Can be read on its own, however.

**Disclaimer: Anything to do with Genesis Rhapsodos, Hollander or Final Fantasy VII belongs entirely to Square Enix. **

* * *

  
"You're _lying!_"

Genesis shot upright, gasping for breath as his poetic voice lingered in his ears moments after he had yelled, reminiscent of an echo through a vast cave. His trembling palms gripped the sheets forcefully, his entire body covered in a clammy sweat that chilled him to the heart.

_Calm down, relax - you were just having a nightmare._

The SOLDIER took in a sharp breath, slumping as a pitiful sense of warm relief washed over him like a comforting blanket - _it was just a dream_.

Just a hallucination - a fragment of his mind - he was free from insults, ridicule that he wasn't even human, damnation that he was a monster. All was gone now.

Everything was alright.

Trying his best to calm his ever racing heart, Genesis closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to relax in the darkness of his bedroom, beckoning sleep to engulf his mind once more as he gently lowered his body back down onto the mattress. His shoulder complained as he lay down, the tightly wrapped bandages sticky with clotted blood - a sad reminder of his foolish actions of the last few days.

Genesis chose to ignore it, shifting his weight as his back rested on an unusual bulge from beneath the mattress. Mumbling quietly to himself, the redhead rolled onto his stomach and allowed the clammy sensations of before to evaporate from his bare torso and up, enjoying the coolness of night that settled around him.

Sleep began to cloud his vision as he flicked his eyes closed properly, and he allowed himself to get comfortable by stretching out his limbs before relaxing them, feeling rather loose and comfy afterwards.

Genesis's eyes fluttered in confusion - he felt…_weighed down?_

He shifted about uncomfortably, unable to shake the heaviness that seemed to settle around his left side - he only had the sheets pulled around his waist, so there was nothing that-

His breath caught in his throat - _of course._

How very foolish of him to forget - and from there, the hellish reality of Genesis Rhapsodos pressed down on him from all sides, his nightmares engulfing his consciousness.

Grimacing, the SOLDIER opened his eyes, seeing shadows of the ebony feathers settling on the floor beside his bed, littering the carpet. His heart rate sped up as the painful truths came rushing back to him, and no sooner than he had sat up on his bed he was clutching his hands to his face as he gritted his teeth in distress.

Slowly pulling his legs over the edge of the bed, Genesis felt his feet touch the carpet, his arms settle at his sides, and _his wing_ half unfolding from his bare shoulder - the monster had awoken.

Not even daring to look at his reflection in the mirror across the other side of the room, the redhead clenched his fists as he carefully flexed his wing, feeling the large primary feathers extending outwards as he stretched the stiff muscle. He hadn't even bothered to consider how his extra limb may influence his sleeping patterns - he was far more concerned with his waking hours than anything else.

He'd barely managed the trip back to his shared apartment without being seen - Hollander had kept him back into the late hours of the night before releasing him to return home, strictly warning him not to be sighted by a single soul. With a hefty jacket, several flights of stairs and alleyways later, Genesis had crept stealthily through the silent flat and into his small bedroom, being sure to lock the door before discarding the jacket to reveal his wing.

From there he'd undressed to a pair of a jeans and not even bothered with a shirt, knowing he'd be unlikely to even _fit_ into one anyway.

And here he was, awake and stressing in the early hours of the morning, his wing a bitter reminder that he _would never be the same again. _

"…w-what…am I?" Genesis whispered through a wavering voice, daring to observe the feathery limb in the mirror. _Who…who am I supposed to be? W-what happened to…to myself? Genesis Rhapsodos?_

The SOLDIER squeezed his gently glowing eyes closed, his mind swimming with his troubled thoughts, fragments of scattered emotions plaguing his mind. He cautiously rubbed his left shoulder with his right hand, flinching as his fingers brushed over the wound…and the downy feathers covering his thick wing to shoulder muscle, which joined his limb to his body.

Taking in a breath, Genesis carefully relaxed his wing, drawing the muscle back towards himself as he retracted the feathers, tucking them in around his shoulder.

A shiver shot down his spine as he felt the sensation of soft feathers brushing over his skin, sliding together as they overlapped almost entirely. Genesis let out a quiet growl through his teeth, seeing the powerful muscle which controlled his wing furled up above his shoulder, clearly visible beside his head. Ever so slightly, the redhead extended his wing just a little and attempted to draw back the appendage into a less conspicuous position, but with little success. _It'll have to do._

Mumbling a stream of displeasures underneath his breath, Genesis bent his knees and slowly stood up, resisting the urge to stretch, knowing that if he did, his wing would follow the same notion and he'd have to retract it _all over again_.

He flinched suddenly, feeling something trailing down his leg - but his expression quickly formed into a scowl as he realised the longest primary feather nearly brushed tips with the floor after tickling his calf muscle. All in all, his wing was quite oversized, and even contracted properly it still showed prominently down his back, the sleek feathers overlapping each other in a rough fashion.

Stepping forward bitterly, Genesis grasped his torn red leather coat which lay discarded over a chair, slipping it over his broad shoulders and pulling it around himself as tightly as he could - which, sadly, wasn't very much; his wing took up much of the available space. Muttering to himself Genesis then grabbed the oversized jacket that was hanging from the doorknob, pulling the tattered material over his shoulders and with relief, managed to zip it up. He prayed to whatever deity who would bother to listen that nobody else would be up at this hour, knowing he was dressed rather oddly in old jeans, his SOLDIER coat and a jacket that was clearly too big.

But it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

Clicking the lock on the door, the SOLDIER slipped out of his bedroom, silently making his way down the hallway in search of the kitchen. A headache had started pulsing throughout his brain earlier, clouding his thoughts and now all he yearned for was something to moisturise his parched throat and hydrate his weary body.

The deadened silence that surrounded the flat was murder to his mako enhanced ears - every creak, every step seemed much louder than they were in reality. Much to his comfort there was no sign of any other conscious people around, leaving Genesis to attend to his needs without causing a disturbance. Slipping his slender fingers around the fridge door, he edged it open, the light spilling out nearly burning his retinas. He winced, his head giving a painful throb - perhaps he'd need more than just a drink to cease his headache.

Moments later the redhead was already gulping down two tablets of pain killers, gratefully enjoying the sensation of sweet, icy juice trailing down his dry throat. His second of bliss was cut short as he finished the drink, setting the glass down onto the bench with a heavy sigh. His cerulean eyes glanced about the darkened kitchen, his mind too alert for the time of night he was awake at - adrenaline had already started swimming through his body at the fear of being caught like this.

He wriggled his shoulders, shifting his wing beneath the materials in an attempt to have it sit more comfortably across his back. He saw the open city night through the window, and right then the redhead had a bitter longing to throw himself off the balcony and into the skies, protected and concealed by the darkness.

He- he'd never really…considered flying before. In the ignorant moments where he believed his wing was a mere side effect of a trivial mistake, a freak accident, he would have savoured that thought - he'd have a gift like nobody else - not even the great hero Sephiroth could have that. But alas, his circumstances were far more sinister, his past was so much darker, the truth so much harder to bear - was he really a _monster?_

In that time forcibly spent within the shadowed walls of Hollander's lab, through his mind riddled with distress Genesis had blankly read over the reports regarding the experiment 'Project G', barely absorbing any of the horrific details therein. The 'specimen,' the '_failure'_, was a result of having a genome seeded with the DNA of Gillian Hewley whom had cells of the calamity Jenova injected inside her, in the attempt to recreate a race of people with Cetra abilities. He was their first ever living product of the experiment, deemed 'a normal child and therefore a failure' - a mistake, their plans had failed, and Genesis knew enough to be sure 'Jenova' was no Ancient - she was a _monster from the skies_, who in truth, had killed much of the Cetra population.

Her cells, however indirect, were inside of him.

His very body shared genetic material with that _thing_ - that blurred out image of Jenova he had blankly cast his eyes across.

Genesis gulped, leaning a trembling hand on the bench - he - he r-really was…like a monster…

And worse - he was dying. He could almost feel the seconds ticking away, inching him closer to the day that the 'degradation', his illness of being a failure, claimed him.

As much as he hated to admit it - he was _scared_. Oh _gaia_, he was so _afraid_-

Genesis sucked in a harsh breath, biting his lip as he felt an unwanted sting in his eyes.

He'd seen the beginning symptoms - his hair was already losing pigment, his muscles ached, his skin around his chest had split - apparently his body wasn't producing any replacement cells, nothing to repair his injuries, continue his functioning - sooner or later he was going to deteriorate, rot, until he died.

Suddenly, a feeling of anger swept through his body, a rage so intense Genesis had to physically restrain himself from damaging anything. He felt fury, and the scariest part - _he didn't know why_. He felt like tearing something apart, his eyes flashing as he gripped the bench with force to turn his sweaty knuckles white.

Without a rational thought the SOLDIER ripped the jacket off, throwing it to the floor as he then discarded his leather coat, and within seconds he had wrenched the window to the balcony open, and threw himself into the crisp night air.

The wind rushed past his ears, his eyes watering as he plummeted downwards - and then he unfurled his wing quickly and felt air catch in his sleek feathers - and suddenly he was jerked upwards by the lift. Through pure instinct he gave his wing a few powerful beats and soared upwards, high above the mako city of Midgar into the atmosphere above.

Slowly, his mind began to clear - the anger, the fury ebbed away, and suddenly the realisation of what he was doing hit him like a brick wall - oh _gaia_, he was _flying!_

The redhead seemed unable to properly recall _why_ he'd gone and jumped out the window, when minutes before the truth behind his wing was stressing him madly as he buckled underneath the distress.

But there was no other _human _on Gaia who had felt this, _experienced_ this - the weightlessness, the pure _power_, the wind - well of course, he wasn't even human himself, was he?

Genesis shut out the thought as he swooped in a wide circle, his wing matching the midnight sky shaded with ebony - all he wished was to enjoy the moment, have it fill him up. He even dared to call it _amazing_, feeling the wind rushing over his entire body, his strong and sleek wing moving gracefully through the air, slicing the night like a sword.

But everything always ended, and so did his short-lived moment of wonder - aches began to lance through his body, his feathery appendage began to falter, his heart beat increased and sweat broke out on his forehead as a hazy fever swept over his mind - it was the degradation, sucking away at his life.

With a wobbly descent as Genesis clumsily tried to control his flight, the balcony came into view and he stumbled as he landed, feeling his legs trembling as they tried to support his suddenly deadened weight. The truths came rushing back - he was a fool, doing something as irrational as flying - surely _someone_ saw him? He was weakened by his injury, the degradation, and he'd never even flown before - it amazed him how he hadn't killed himself by taking that leap. Somehow his body knew how to fly, and he was thanking the goddess for that - even if she weren't to bother listening to him.

Dragging himself inside, he carefully slid the door closed and tucked his warm wing close to his body, feeling a clammy sweat coat his frame as he shivered, his face as pale as a sheet. That was plain idiocy back there - his only question: _why did he do it?_

He felt that rage - and then he'd just done it, without thinking. He sincerely hoped that the degrading wouldn't impact his mental stability - he'd already shown lack of judgement and poor decision making, leading to careless actions. Perhaps he would…he would lose his mind, too…lose his very sense of self…

Genesis brought a pained hand to his forehead, slumping down on one of the arm chairs in the lounge room adjacent to the kitchen, making care to unfurl his wing over the back of the seat. Painful emotions clouded his feelings… _is this what _women_ feel like all the time?_ Genesis managed a bitter chuckle at his joke, knowing his situation was probably worse than a hormonal imbalance.

As minutes passed, fatigue washed over his body. "W-what…am I going to do with myself?" Genesis whispered, his wing flicking as he shivered again - were things only going to get worse from now on?

Was he really going to die so soon? Was he going to - going to go _insane?_ Was he a monster?

So many questions plagued his mind as more time passed, leading Genesis to grow more and more anxious as the night ticked by. The best thing he could probably do was rest - he'd deal with everything in the morning - and perhaps Hollander had found a cure, a way to save him.

On these reassuring thoughts, the SOLDIER stumbled off to his bedroom, slinging the jacket and his coat over his arms and feeling his wing drift along behind him. He clicked the door shut and flicked the lock, giving himself false, comforting thoughts as he slipped back into bed.

* * *

  
"Sit."

Genesis hardly needed to be told, moaning as he took his place on the examination table within the cold walls of Hollander's lab. Convulsive shivers shook his body, sweat tricking down his neck as the redhead wrapped his arms around his shoulders in a natural attempt to warm himself when he was already running a high fever.

Genesis hung his head, gritting his teeth together in pain as he waited for the scientist to attend to him - with every second that ticked by, he felt worse and worse.

His shoulder throbbed, through both injury and wing - the surrounding areas were inflamed and swollen, the dressing sodden with blood. His wing, sandwiched between his sweaty back and shirt fabric, twitched in pain, in irritation, but Genesis ignored the urge to stretch, as if paying his extra limb no attention would make it all _go away_.

"Bandage needs changing," the redhead mumbled as Hollander shuffled over to him, scowling. He breathed in sharply as the scientist grasped Genesis' left arm roughly and wrenched it away from his body, not caring in the least how it might affect his discomfort.

Seconds later Hollander was peeling away the bandage - to Genesis, it felt like pain from _hell, _his shoulder screaming in agony as the dressings were removed. He shuddered, his voice breaking as he cried out through each horrible twinge of pain as the scientist roughly handled his damaged shoulder.

"Stop whining!" Hollander snapped gruffly, carelessly binding the injury with a cleaner bandage through Genesis' continuing whimpers of pain. The SOLDIER clenched his right hand, almost wishing he had something to bite down on to endure the agony. _Oh, oh goddess, why…why does it hurt so _badly?

Finally, the deed was done and Hollander stepped away, disposing of the old dressing and allowing Genesis to gather his wits. The redhead felt absolutely terrible, almost wishing the degradation would take his life right then, right there.

"Hollander…" Genesis moaned, desperate to find the strength in his voice again.

"What?" The scientist spat, not even turning to face the SOLDIER. He heard Genesis hold back another cry of pain, and a sadistic smirk spread across his aged face - this was the time.

"Tell me." The SOLDIER whispered, feeling rage ignite inside his racing heart.

"Tell you wh-"

"_Tell me there's a way!_" Genesis yelled, having already slipped down from the examination table and stormed over to Hollander. He roughly grasped the front collar of the scientist's shirt, towering over him as a menacing glare through bloodshot eyes stared right through him.

"For what!?" Hollander fumed, acting plainly stupid in the eyes of Genesis.

"You know perfectly well _what._" The redhead threatened, his soul reeling with anger as he stared down at the ShinRa scientist. "Healing this - this _degradation!"_

"I can't!" Hollander snapped, struggling underneath the grip Genesis had on his shirt, "I told you yester-"

"You didn't," Genesis said in a strangely calm voice, though his body language displayed otherwise.

Hollander remained silent, frowning furiously at the redhead who still had a hold on him. Inwardly, he ran through the plan in his mind, all in all deeming the SOLDIER's actions exactly as he needed them to be.

"Can't you…" Genesis trailed off, the feelings of burning fury inside of him ebbing away as his emotional torment of distress replaced them. "Can't you…cure…"

He released his hold on Hollander's collar, slowly stumbling over towards the bench and resting a hand on it for support.

"Oh _goddess_ I- I just can't-" Genesis whispered unevenly, his mind racing with fear and anxiety, "I can't - d-do this, I…"

Distress clouded his entire thought process, consuming his mind, body and soul as he hung his head and sobbed, his mental psyche going haywire.

Hollander watched on, seeing the SOLDIER sink to his knees, curling up into a pathetic ball as his very sense of self crumbled, and the scientist grinned - the smirk of a true madman with only malicious intent.

Genesis cried pathetically to himself, the degrading consuming his entire person - he didn't care about anyone or _anything_ anymore - _just make it go away…make it leave, make it stop…_

"ShinRa was responsible for this, you know," Hollander said deviously, careful not to allude to the fact it was his own doing over 20 years ago that had led to these events. "So many lives have they destroyed, brought down, crushed…all for their own selfish gain."

Hollander snarled at the memories, but continued on, telling the harsh truths of the ShinRa company, pouring them into the ears of the broken SOLDIER before him.

"After they have used you, they discard you, having no need for your services. You have reached your career prime, have you not? Sooner or later…" the scientist smirked, stepping closer to Genesis.

"Wouldn't you like…_revenge?"_ Hollander whispered, savouring his turn of standing over the curled up figure of the redhead, "a chance to strike back? To give them…a taste of their own medicine?"

"Ally your services with me, Genesis," the scientist drawled, "we can take this company apart, piece by piece…after all, that's what a _monster_ would desire."

Genesis physically shuddered at the term, but said nothing.

"You have not seen your own power," he went on, "your genes produced the unexpected ability to create genetic mirrors of yourself. Do you not see? You can create clones …I have already experimented and seen the results myself." Hollander's smirk widened - he knew that his research had caused this sudden worsening in Genesis' degrading.

"If you do this, I will heal your illness."

Those words froze Genesis - that's all he'd been longing to hear.

"What?" the redhead mumbled, his voice muffled by his hands.

"I can give you life, Genesis. I can make this all go away." Hollander spoke quietly, "but if you refuse, well, I can't say for sure…but you'd be dead in a mere few days." The scientist knew that was a lie, a fabrication, but it was necessary if he were to involve the SOLDIER in his sadistic plans.

Genesis shifted, lifting his head up to stare at Hollander, his aqua eyes focused directly on him. There was no turning back, if this was the only way-

"…I'll do it."

* * *

A/N: …that was so sad and depressing. ;____;

It's such a pity Genesis couldn't enjoy his gift of flight more, either.

Anyway, I hope you like it Devsash! I was so worried when I was writing it whether it would do your original story justice…

Anyway, if anybody was confused about Gen's really odd mood swings, I have the belief that the degrading also effect's one's mind and emotionally stability, so that's what caused it. Also, in it was written in the Crisis Core Ultimania [I think… owo;] that victims of degradation suffer from anger outbursts, so yeah.

Also, that part about worsening Gen's degrading…that was also written in that Ultimania - apparently the more clones are created, the more the genes are spread and it said that the degrading symptoms worsen when this happens. Hollander was doing research during the night, so that's how Genesis was worse when he turned up the next morning.

Anyway, I think I liked how this turned out! :3

Hope you all enjoyed the depressing, angsty read!

- Lioneh ~


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